“Watch…your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
So, where do habits (good or bad) come from?
Habits are the accumulation of repeated actions over time. They become ingrained in your subconscious mind. Once they become automatic, it becomes difficult to get rid of them.
The good news is, though difficult to change, it is possible to do so. Since habits are repeated actions, then you can change them by changing your actions.
Some of the causes of bad habits are:
Stress
Stress can make you get into bad habits such as nail-biting, smoking, alcohol abuse, overeating.
Boredom
Boredom can also make you get into bad habits of spending a lot of time cruising the internet. Other bad habits that can come as a result of boredom may include watching porn, smoking weed, and other hard drugs like cocaine, etc. as you’ve heard idle mind is devil’s workshop.
Strained Relationship
If you and your spouse are not in good terms, you are going to engage in other activities to avoid him or her. This includes watching endless movies, Soaps, playing electronic games, heavy alcohol intake, and spending long hours with your peers. Wasting time.
As there’re many causes of bad habits, there are many ways of crushing them too.
Let’s dig in.
Get to know why you have that bad habit
It is very important to know why you do what you do. This will help you overcome it. Note that you cannot eliminate a bad habit, but you can replace it with a good one.
Good or bad habits are there in your life for a reason. The reason could be emotional (in an abusive relationship) psychological (smoking and drugs), physical stress. In all these cases your bad habit is there to “help” you cope with your situation — whatever it may be.
Habits like screaming while under stress, smoking, nail-biting, clenching your jaws and so on, help you escape your problems — albeit temporary.
Since these bad habits offer “paybacks” in your life, it is very hard to eradicate them. You must replace them with equally beneficial ones.
Whenever you smoke because you’re stressed, for example, you can replace that habit by taking a cup of coffee or tea instead of smoking.
Instead of watching porn because you’re stressed, do some research on the internet on a topic that interests you.
You will spend the same amount of time but the results will give you some health benefits and personal development.
So, in place of your bad habits choose good ones.
Cut Off All Triggers
Associates: The company you keep can influence your habits. If most of your close friends smoke, chances are you will too. Peer pressure will force you to fit in.
To help in quitting, the logical thing to do is, slowly and tactfully start associating with non-smokers.
Location: If you always smoke in a specific place, say a club, then try to avoid going there. Not until you can kick out the habit. Avoid where people are smoking.
What makes you smoke?
If a certain activity makes you smoke, then avoid it as much as possible. If drinking makes you smoke, then consider not drinking. Stress? Get a different approach to handling it rather than smoking or drinking.
Where do you keep TV Remote? Keep the remote in another room out of your easy reach.
Cut as much flesh of triggers as possible.
Buddy Up or Get a Mentor
If you have a friend who wants to kick out a bad habit as well, then you can buddy up. Both of you can agree to quit at the same time.
You hold each other accountable whenever you slip. You lament together. Whenever you win, you celebrate your wins together. That way the fight will be bearable.
Get a mentor. Someone you respect and you don’t want to disappoint. Tell him or her what your goals are. Ask him to watch your progress. Report to him every day on your development. Be honest even when you relapse. Because relapse is normal in eradicating an ingrained bad habit.
Envision your success
Let your mind’s eye, see yourself more slim, free of drugs, cleaner, healthier, richer, active than you are now. Full of great results and many other beautiful outcomes. See yourself saying ‘No!’ when offered a stick of Marlboro by your buddies to smoke.
Your vision enhances your resolve to keep on going towards your goal of annihilating bad habits. It will make you an unstoppable person. Making it a nonnegotiable endeavor.
Whenever you fail or relapse, avoid harmful self-talk.
Remember, until you’ve achieved your goal of kicking the bad habit, it is good to accept the failure of one miss. Not because it is great to miss your mark, but it is a way of nature telling you, you’re a human after all. But, keep your nose to the grindstone!
Meditation
When you meditate, you strengthen your brain. You give your brain more power. You can control and regulate emotion and decision-making. Meditation gives you stronger will power. Stronger will power enables you to achieve your goal.
Have a Strong Reason or “Why”
When your reason (that’s your ‘why’) for kicking out a bad habit is so strong, you will use all means possible to eradicate any bad habits.
A list of final benefits will help you strengthen your “Why”. It will make you unrelenting in your quest. Your strong “Why” will enable you to have the tenacity and grim persistence that is required.
Commit Yourself Wholly
Put your heart into changing the habits you don’t want and installing the one you truly desire.
Make no room for excuses and do it wholeheartedly. No surrender. No going back.
You must doggedly pursue your goal.
When you’re 100% resolved, then no matter what stands between you and your goal, it will be consumed by your sheer zeal.
Perfect Your New Good Habits Daily
For any habit to stick it must be strengthened daily.
For example, you have set a goal to read one book every month. Divide that goal into smaller achievable readings per day.
When you read smaller portions of the book daily, you will achieve your ultimate goal of reading the whole book in a month.
Note, you must read daily for a whole month. Missing days will make you fail to impress a new habit. You will fail.
Enjoy the process
Just like bad habits took time to be deep-rooted, good habits also take time and it is a process. It takes between 21 days and 3 months to acquire a new habit.
The first time you try a new habit, it is not enjoyable and is grueling.
The second time it is rough and uncomfortable. In the third phase, you feel comfortable and you are on fire.
Be brutal. Crush it. Enjoy the process. Though the start will be tough but, that how beginnings are. Hard. Right?
Break It Down for Easier Wins
Move one step at a time. Have smaller achievable milestones. When you reach every milestone, celebrate your achievement. Enjoy what you have done so far.
For example, if you have been smoking a packet of cigarettes daily, reduce it to half daily for 3 days. Next time, make it a quarter (five sticks) a day for 3 days, and then one stick a day for 3 days. Gradual reduction of your body craving for nicotine…finally quit smoking!
Every time you achieve these smaller goals, you can reward yourself with something much healthier, say an apple, a peach, or even some ground nuts. Enjoy your wins waiting to for the grand prize.
Allowance for Relapse
You know what! Don’t strangle yourself because you have failed to achieve your daily targets. Perfection is not the key here. Remember you’re trying to get rid of an old entrenched habit.
The goal is the results, not how many times you have messed up along the way.
You must understand that battles can be won and lost, but it may not determine the end of the war. Battles are short term, while wars are lengthy.
My friend, you are not just in the battle, you are in the war. It’s a marathon. Keep slogging.
No man (or woman) is limited.
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By: Simon C. Kimani — kimanicom@gmail.com
